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Ways to say NO

Published on: 2nd August, 2022

I said no this month. When's the last time you said what you really wanted to say? No. I said no this month and yes to myself. I'm doing a little bit reworking on my programming and so using this time to bring back some of the most popular episodes from the archive. Now, this particular one is about saying no. You might need to say no to request for your time, to borrow your work, to borrow your materials, or even just wanting someone invading your personal or office space with an in person meeting. Here's the thing. No is a complete sentence, but sometimes that doesn't feel just right. So to help you to prepare for the inevitable, grab the download and get your best no face on. No is a complete sentence.

Hello, and welcome to the travelling introvert. Today I want to talk about, and I've talked about this before, but saying no and how to do it the right way it's super easy to feel guilty and want to avoid conflict or simply want to make other people feel good. However, if you don't say no, it can consume your whole life on how other people react and you might get stressed because of other people's happiness. Your happiness is kind of more important. So, in fact, saying no more often is crucial to come to your goals and aspirations.

 

And actually, it's something that I've struggled with the past couple of weeks where I wanted to say no and I wanted to set boundaries. I found it incredibly hard and so this has been helpful to me. No is not always a negative. Behind every no, there's also a yes. So what I mean is, when you say no, you're also saying yes to another opportunity that can better serve you in your life.

 

Just because you're saying no doesn't mean like no right now and no forever. Saying no means that you're committed to your values and goals and your boundaries. And you can always say yes without considering everybody. It's fine. The sad truth is, you will always need to think about yourself first.

 

Establish and stick to your boundaries. The only person you are responsible for is yourself and you can't expect others to know what you need. If you don't speak up, say something practice, assertive communication. Always speak up about your boundaries. And don't be afraid to let others know if they can't respect your boundaries, you don't need them, they're only going to hold you back.

 

You're only going to feel guilty and resentful on a whole bunch of other things which will just get you down and have you feeling overwhelmed. And I know it's not that easy. So finding the right words is hugely important. You don't just say no. There are other ways to let people know why you can't do it.

 

Suggest an alternative or provide a reason why you can't do it. Let them know that it doesn't work with your schedule or your timing is wrong. The more you can communicate and the more information you can give them. As far as I'm not doing this because of X, Y and Z, we'll stop them asking you again, but not in a bad way. If you are like, I can't do this on Mondays, then I'll ask you for Tuesdays instead.

 

So setting the right boundaries and using the right words are really helpful. Take the personal out of it. In other words, you're not saying no to the person asking, you're simply saying no to the activities that they want you to do. Often people don't say no because they're afraid to offend the person. However, not being fully honest with yourself isn't fair on them either.

 

Instead, realize it isn't about the person, but rather what they asked for. More likely than not, they'll understand why you are respectively declining their request. If you're always saying yes to people and activities that you don't enjoy, then you're not really being you. You're not really living your life. You're living the life you think other people expect from you.

 

And is that really what you want to do? Yes. You might be avoiding conflict, but you will easily create more by being dishonest with yourself and the people around you. A vague yes versus a firm no can be seen as more harmful, as your lack of commitment and poor attitude are noticeable. And it means people can't rely on what you say, and that's something really important.

 

Seeming wishy washy isn't a great thing. Knowing when to say yes and when to say no or when to say, let me check my schedule, let me check my calendar, let me get back to you within the next 24 hours. Whatever it might be is far better than being like, yeah, I guess it just doesn't work. So in the end, saying no allows you far more control and ease and less stress with your life and will help you accomplish more. It's not about making others feel unwanted.

 

It's not about being rude. It's about ensuring you are using your time wisely and doing the things that you want to do and following the path that you want to go on and where you want to be and your goals in life. Once you find a balance that works for you, you'll never regret saying no because of reasons that you value in your life. Thanks for listening. This is Janice@thecareerintrovert.com helping you build your brand and get hired.

 

If you have any questions that you want me to answer on the show, email me at janice@thecareerintrovert.com. Have a great rest of your week.

 

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About the Podcast

The Traveling Introvert
A bite-sized podcast about traveling while running a business and being an introvert.
Not knowing what introversion was until my 30s, I feel that I wasted some of my early years by not really understanding myself. An inspiration for my business is that I want to help others understand themselves better, earlier on in their careers and their lives. Introversion is a very misunderstood area – introverts can suffer mentally and physically because people typecast them or act negatively towards them. It’s not nice to be trapped in a little box. When you label somebody, they tend to act like that label, which stops people from achieving their true potential. I don’t let being an introvert define me, I let it guide me.
If you are looking for some career coaching or just want to reach out
contact me at janice@thecareerintrovert.com